So I am trying a new thing! Where I take more action and less over thinking. Ever since I began my spiritual journey I have thought of all things as energy. Cosmic energy that is shown in the physical world as thoughts, emotion, action, physical materials that carry that. So complicating it with the word ‘energy’ and what it means actually simplified it in my head.
I am used to going over and over about if a simple action is ‘good for me’ or ‘good for the world’ I tend to then get stuck inside that cycle. I look for the validation if I am allowed to do this, but instead I actually find that I will never do it because I found something that maybe says it is negative or the origin of it started from something bad. For example before I wrote my book which has romance elements, I kept getting stuck on if romance is even good for you. I then found out about how a lot of women are attracted to it because there hasn’t been a lot of equal love for them or how the patriarchy made love and marriage the epitome of a woman. As it was their only access to power for a very long time. Despite it being the response to something negative, it also has positives. I maybe spent half a year going back and forth if it was right for me to have a romantic lead that was a morally grey man.
Yes you read that right 6 whole months! I still go back and forth, however, I have realised that the more I do action I end up just getting things done. Perhaps it really is the answer. Funnily enough as if it wasn’t a sign from the universe. While I worked at my yoga studio’s fundraiser I had an aura reading. In the 1st picture of my aura (the electromagnetic energy around beings) it was very red. My mentor asked if it was stress or passion and I replied it was both. So she decided to lean on the passion and I began to ask my self what does my soul really want, what is my passion? I replied that I really wanted to help people and the world. I wanted to invent something to help the environment, I wanted to get my book published. Afterwards I felt so much relief and we took another measurement. This time my aura was mostly green, it was much more settled. I didn’t need to see it because I felt different.
My mentor then said to me, “You have a lot of energy, and that much passionate energy if it doesn’t get released through action it makes you sick.” It made me realise that the stress I feel all the time, the obsessions over miniscules things and over thinking and the cycle of procrastinating and feeling terrible may stem from lack of action. It really changed my view of ‘energy’. The amount of energy I spend just thinking is probably insane. The brain power that goes to waste.
So this is my first post to try to take this passion and energy I have and fuel into into real things such as this post and my book. I am beginning this journey of a different response to the urges I have. Please follow my journey and if you felt motivated or feel a similar way to me then comment below. Writing comes really naturally to me over talking, I write and pull the strands of my mind into something coherent. I am excited to write more and talk through my journey of life in writing my book and recovering from my chronic illness.